Here is your weekly Dead-Beef. See you next week!
We’re in the dog days of summer now, which means our summer break is rapidly coming to an end. Jeremy and I are making plans to meet next week to exchange some ideas for season 4 of Inglorious Hipsters. We’ll likely establish a return date as well, likely in late September.
Here’s your weekly Dead-Beef!
I haven’t seen “Sharknado” nor do I plan to. As someone who frequently hosts “bad movie” nights this might seem a little strange, but movies like Sharknado (and generally anything produced by Asylum) are joyless, punishing affairs with little to no redeeming value.
This morning I read the news that Syfy’s Sharknado, already with two films in the books, will become a trilogy next year. The announcement let a groan rumble through my vocal cords that would rival the depths of Khazad-dûm and force Gandalf to change his wizard cloak.
So why, if I have gleefully watched films like The Room, Birdemic, Hard Ticket To Hawaii and Samurai Cop, would I loath Sharknado so much. To understand this we need to explore one of the oldest gags in comedy, the pie-in-the-face gag.
What makes a person getting a pie in the face funny? Typically the mark needs to be someone dignified, a person who demands respect, even if they don’t often get it. If the receiver of the pie doesn’t have dignity, then being splattered with cream and crust will be at best not funny and at worst sad and upsetting.
Imagine if a homeless person were to be hit by a pie. Would you laugh or be sad that this man who is down on his luck is now also covered in pie?
Now imagine Justin Bieber getting hit by a pie in the face… heh heh heh. Pretty great, right? I chose Bieber because his antics suggest to me he desperately wants to be respected, maybe even feared?
But someone slamming pie in his face takes all that way, he’s just laughable mess, the opposite of how he wants to be perceived.
You see, what makes a bad movie funny is that it asks to be taken seriously when it is in fact ridiculous. If effect, a bad movie is Justin Bieber asking you to respect him as an artist while his pet monkey masturbates behind him.
Sharknado doesn’t ask to be taken seriously, it asks us to watch and agree with how bad it is. It’s all punchline and no set up. Asylum and Syfy saw the phenomenon of movie riffing rise in popularity and tried to capitalize, but it’s clear they don’t understand at all why bad movies are fun to watch.
So we’ve spent the majority of this week fighting mold in our basement. Somewhere in our rental 4-plex is a crack in the foundation or some kind of pooling of water that, when there is an abundant rainfall, leaks into our basement bedroom.
Because Erin and I have tried to stuff two people’s worth of furniture and crap into one tiny bedroom it was difficult to try to dry out the carpet without moving everything out of the room. This week, however, it became apparent that is exactly what we needed to do as the carpet was clearly now molding.
So I’ve been shampooing the carpet like crazy and covering it in a thick layer of mold control solution all week. Finally, this morning, the musty smell disappeared and we appear to be on the cusp of moving back downstairs after sleeping in the living room all week.
So the lesson here, my dear friends, is when your carpet gets wet don’t delay in doing everything you can to dry it out. Treat it with urgency instead of laziness.
This weekend Erin and I are headed to Jasper for some mountain camping. It’s been scorching hot for the past couple weeks in Alberta, so of course this is the weekend the skies unleash all the rain. Thanks weather, impeccable timing! Plus we’re taking the dog with us. Wet dog in a tent, what could be more fun than that?
Still, we’re just happy to be going on vacation, haven’t got away very much this summer so it’ll be nice to get out of the city, even if it is painful grey and wet.
Here’s your Dead-Beef. See you next week.